Why your New Year Goals never last!
The year is almost over and I am slowly but surely getting into that retrospective mindset.
What was good?
Where was I lacking?
Which goals were successful, which weren't?
This helps me setting goals for the next year. Everytime I tell friends and family that, they say the same thing to me:
"Setting goals and good resolutions for the new year doesn't help anyway. One never sticks to them anyway!"
Admittedly, many people often have the feeling that setting goals for the new year is useless because you never reach them or stick to your good intentions. I felt the same way for many years.
Today I know that my good intentions never worked because I didn't set my goals correctly. When talking to friends or family at the beginning of the new year, people often use some of the same resolutions just “to have some”, but very few of us actually seriously think about what they want to achieve.
Let me show you my approaches on how you can set goals properly and also how I achieve most of them.
Be specific about the "how"
"I want to lose weight.", "I want to become rich.", "I want to exercise more" - These are typical resolutions at the beginning of the year for so many. All well and good, there's nothing wrong with these goals.
Except for two small things: They're not specific and they don't describe how the goal is achieved. Let me give you an example to make my point clear:
If someone tells you that you have to cross a river, you don't say to yourself "I have to cross it!" and are then disappointed because you cannot cross it. You would analyse the situation and think "Okay, I have to reach the bank across from me (specific goal). Do I swim or do I take the boat? (How you would achieve the goal)".
That thinking also applies for New Year goals:
First, start by making your goal specific. Let's say your goal is "I want to exercise more." What does that mean? Do you want to exercise every day? Do you want to do it at a gym? Or just once a week and at home? Give it some specific metrics that you can work with.
To have a clearer vision in your head, it's also good if you know the "how" to map out the path for yourself already. What are your next steps? First you have to figure out what sport you want to do. Then schedule a time. That way, you'll slowly get a clearer picture about your goal.
To stick with our example: Instead of saying "I want to exercise more.", say to yourself: "I want to exercise more by going to the gym once a week."
Break goals down into small goals
Okay, you've got the path. Now it's about placing small stops along the way so that you can keep yourself motivated. These little stops also help with checking in with yourself every now and then, so you can readjust your path - or maybe even your goal if the initial goal has changed slightly.
So what would our example goal look like in small steps? Let's say you don't have a gym yet, but you know there are two in your area. So your first small goal could be, "I'll arrange a trial training at both gyms next week and decide on one by the end of the week."
If you're like me and you are just too lazy to leave the house, scheduling a set day to go to the gym will also do you good. "Every Sunday at noon I have time to work out." Bonus points if you mark that workout time in your calendar straight away! Why? Because it can hold you accountable to your plan! There is time in your schedule - so no excuses - and there is a visual reminder, that you have to work out.
Set yourself a deadline - but don't be so hard on yourself!
Deadlines can sometimes help your goal feel more manageable, because you have to keep the deadline in mind and you can also ask yourself "Can I reach it until then?", so a deadline can also help with adjusting.
Like in the example we have, some goals might not have a specific end date, especially when you try to set routines. "I'll set my deadline to the end of the year." is of course okay as a deadline either way, but you can also include a little deadline in the middle of your journey, maybe even with a little incentive if that works for you: "If I went to the gym at least 20 times by June (about once a week), I'll treat myself to a new outfit!"
With an inbetween deadline, the big goal doesn't seem quite so far away, 6 months is more likely to reach than 12. And if you prepare a small reward for yourself, it's much nicer when you actually reach the goal!
It's also important not to be so hard on yourself, as this could also be demotivating. Not reaching a subgoal or taking more time than expected is not some sort of failure. It is more of an evaluation opportunity because there seems to be an element in your goal setting that is too hard to achieve at the current moment, so we have to readjust.
Taking our example again: You've only been there 5 times by June? Then treat yourself to some of your favourite coffee and take another look at your goal setting. Would Saturday be better than Sunday? Is the gym not right for you after all? Do you need to set an alarm to remind you of your goal? Try to make your path a little more "walkable" by making specific adjustments to your plan.
Applying all of these steps might still not make you reach your goal. You also don't have to have New Years goal at all! But if you want to set some, set them mindfully and planned, instead of just swimming with the crowd.
Did you already do your goal planning for next year? Whats your favourite goal you want to reach? Let me know!
Yours